An Open Letter To Girls Who Hate Working Out

If girls worked on working out as hard as they worked on relationships… I wouldn’t have a letter to write. It’s about time someone had a serious talk with ladies who display this lax behavior about their health and fitness.

If this describes you, I’m not going to sugar coat anything.

I use to be you. A girl who didn’t see the need to ever commit to working out because I appeared to look fine on the outside. I wasn’t dying, all levels were always fine at the doctors, and I didn’t eat terribly. Balance is key they say!

Weight naturally fluctuates over the years so that wasn’t alarming. I didn’t grow up to be the athletic type, so I figured that it was not in the cards for me. I admit, there were times back then that I really wanted to take working out seriously. I played recreational tennis in high school to prove to myself that I had what it takes to be a fit girl.

When I left high school and started college, I figured that walking to and from my classes on campus was sufficient enough to count towards my daily exercise. I didn’t push myself to explore any other type of activities that would keep me fit because, let’s face it, I had to study + work all the time. Duh.

Working out was not “my thing” at the time. In my spare time, I would much rather be catching up on Netflix or simply relaxing. Getting a sweaty workout in that I didn’t even like was not part of my agenda.

I hated working out!

These, my dear, are the words of a girl that needed to experience some personal growth.

You may not have the same story as I do, but this mindset that you are “just not cut out” to have a workout regimen is complete nonsense and, quite frankly, just an excuse.

To make this more impactful, let’s pretend that working out is your significant other. This person is everything you want in a partner. I mean literally everything on your dream list is checked off. You have the perfect relationship in many peoples’ eyes, but there have been some underlying issues.

Working Out: “I feel like we are having the same talk about what I need from you almost daily. This relationship is at risk because you haven’t been putting in the work that the relationship needs for it to stay alive. Relationships are a two way street and I’ve been here working hard to make you happy, but I just don’t feel like anything is ever reciprocated.”

You: “You’re right. You’ve been wonderful to me. You are not perfect by any means, but I can’t deny that you are putting in more than enough effort into this relationship to make it work.”

Working Out: “Thank you for acknowledging this. You’ve been allowing yourself to fall to the wayside and it hurts me to see this because I want you to be the best version of yourself. I just want to love you and have a good relationship with you. I’m not a priority in your life. You don’t make time for me at all. I have to beg you to even think about spending time with me. It’s unfair, because I always find a way to make time for you when you need it.”

You: “I feel terrible. I really am so busy all the time. I go to school, then work, then I get tired and just need to have my alone time. I do want to be in a relationship with you, but the truth is, this relationship is hard for me to maintain. I feel like if I don’t put you first you freak out. I mean, you do make my life better, and there are so many benefits to being with you, but why can’t things just stay the way they are?

Working Out: “Because we both made a commitment. Don’t you get it?! Relationships take work! You don’t get to keep me in your closet and pull me out whenever you feel like it. There plenty of people out there who know what I’m worth and will make me feel appreciated.”

You: “Why do relationships have to be so hard? I’m committed to you, I feel like I’ve never had to work so hard in my life for someone. The amount of energy, sweat, and tears I have to put into this relationship just to make it work is uncomfortable at times. Why can’t we just get by seeing each other once a month? Things would be easier that way. I absolutely love the good times, but it’s not easy for me all the time. ”

Working Out: “You need to grow up. You are missing the whole point of what it means to have a relationship with someone.”

I’m just giving you something to think about because I love you and I’ve been there. Sometimes it’s helpful to see what you’re doing from another perspective in order to change your way of thinking.

If you gave your relationship the same excuses as you did working out what would happen?

You’re being immature. It’s time to grow up.

Dramatic much? Hardly.

You’ve become okay with not working on your relationship with working out because it’s not in your face with an ultimatum, picking fights or sending you massive amounts of text messages with “Hey, remember me?”

When you make a commitment to work on your fitness, you must also change your mindset about how your relationship is going to work. When working out becomes your lifestyle, and you are committed, such as in a serious relationship, you do whatever you need to do to make that relationship work.

Again, I wouldn’t have to write this letter if I didn’t see a problem. You hate working out because you need to mature in this area. Working towards good health is definitely not going to kill you and gives you guaranteed benefits. I see ladies basically idolizing their relationships and putting their partner first at all costs.

If you make excuses for working out, but don’t make the same excuses for Johnny who you readily see at 10pm on a Friday night – Houston, we’ve got a problem.

Relationships take work! Which is why when single ladies tell me I’m so “lucky” to have someone by my side I also say you have no idea how much work I had to put into this man and this relationship. When you see a lady with an amazing body you know she put tons of work into herself, it didn’t just magically happen!

Now that we’ve jumped over that hurdle I want to give you two tips for getting on track, even if you are starting from square zero. Yes, even if you absolutely hate working out.

1. You are not always going to feel like it.

I still have many days when I don’t “feel” like working out. What would happen if my feelings ruled my life? A complete mess! I may not feel like working some days, but I have to pay the bills.

These are the top excuses I’ve heard as to why working out does not happen:


Zero Motivation

Non-Euphoric feeling


I’m sorry to break it to you, but not working out because of a XYZ reason above is an excuse! It is a signal that you still have some work to do within yourself and you need to get cookin’. I want you to know that you have the power to work on the many reasons as to why you don’t work out.

These are struggles that we all deal with during different seasons of our lives. Working out is not going to feel good all the time because you are either burning away body fat or tearing down your muscles – not a fun process for your body. You are going to feel resistance and maybe even pain, but pushing through these obstacles will pay off months and years down the road. Trust the process + things will get easier!

2. Find your way

Good news: there are so many ways to work out! You don’t have to be crazy about the gym, or spend hours working out, but you do owe it to yourself to find a way to consistently put your body first.

Lifting or running may not be your way right now or ever. That’s okay! Fitness is not a one size fits all ordeal, so go find something that speaks to you and then make a commitment! If you can start with just 20 min of any activity daily you are well on your way my friend. 🙂

If you know me, you know that I’m not a cardio bunny. To overcome this I’ve taken kickboxing classes and found that this has become my favorite form of cardio! Since I’ve been solely focusing on strength training + bulking, I now vow to get back into doing cardio regularly. A huge goal for my upcoming year will be focusing on burning more fat and getting lean. This is going to be a heck of a journey for me since this has never been my focus before.

There is so much beauty in tackling your personal roadblocks and challenges. Like in a relationship, if you don’t go through hard times, you will never truly appreciate the good times.

The ability to work out while you physically can is a blessing that many take for granted. Your relationship with fitness doesn’t need to be non-existent next year. Work it out the best way you can.

Lol at the candy photobomb! It was part of a Christmas gift that my sister sent to me all the way from Japan! I had just opened her gifts before taking this selfie 😉

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  1. To jump on the comparison route with human relationships vs. workout relationships…..I think we also need to include the variety element. It would boring if we always did the same routine with our friends/significant others (dinner/movies/tv, etc.). The same goes for exercise…the body needs variety not only to avoid over-training certain muscle groups, but also to build strength in other muscle groups as well 😉

    1. I love your comment Kimberly! You are speaking so much truth right now! The variety element is an amazing point that I didn’t mention. This is key going deeper with any relationship + our workouts. This is golden, thank you for your comment 🙂

  2. I love this! A few months ago, I wrote a post titled “I’m having an affair with running”. Because my relationship with working out/running is just that…a relationship. I was a slacker in my 20s, but once I got on board and saw how good running and working out made me feel, I never looked back. It’s a lifetime commitment!

    1. Thank you for sharing your post Wendy! I will definitely be checking it out! You beat me to the working out/relationship analysis and I would have never thought about relating it to an affair but that’s SO true! 😅 I look up to women like you because that’s exactly the outlook I want to have in my life right now and forever. It’s a lifetime commitment for sure.

  3. Fabulous tips! I don’t always love working out, but it is part of my life and I always feel great afterwards, so that’s what I try to keep in mind.

  4. Love this! I actually really love working out and taking more than a day or two off is very hard for me. This week I’m trying to fit in my classes with the family home but since I don’t want to get up at the crack of dawn, especially with these late nights they would be mid day classes. So I’m going with any workout is better than nothing and told the hubby I would run or workout with him at home or anything as long as I got in a workout.

    1. Same! I just don’t feel right when I take more than two days off. I’m so happy when I hear ladies like you working out despite your busy schedule. It can be done! I find that scheduling your workouts helps. Also, don’t feel like you have to make them long. As long as your heart rate is up and you are moving, you are exercising. Everything adds up in the end. I know your husband will love you working out with him! My BF and I bond so much over just working out 🙂

  5. It’s too easy to put our health and fitness on the back burner because we don’t immediately see the repercussions. Or we’re looking for the instant gratification. Too sad really. Everyone should have a relationship with exercise and their health.
    I love kickboxing too!

    1. Yay! Kickboxers unite! You’re right, instant gratification is a big part of our society now so working out is often seen as a chore and not a lifestyle. I agree that EVERYONE should have a relationship with their health and exercise.

  6. I recently read a passage that has helped me and it continues to remind me whenever I get to that space of not wanting to do something that I know I should be doing and I know is good for me. It talks about the mind and how you have to train your mind just like you would chain a puppy and put a leash on your mind. We should really write down things that are need priority and train the mind that they are the most important things to do.

    1. Alice! So true. I love this training the mind idea because when you think about it, we can apply that same training to every area of out lives. Fitness is no different! You are so right about it needing to be a priority and writing it down so you are forcing your mind to see it’s importance! It’s nice to be able to cross things off our to-do lists. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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