If girls worked on working out as hard as they worked on relationships… I wouldn’t have a letter to write. It’s about time someone had a serious talk with ladies who display this lax behavior about their health and fitness.
If this describes you, I’m not going to sugar coat anything.
I use to be you. A girl who didn’t see the need to ever commit to working out because I appeared to look fine on the outside. I wasn’t dying, all levels were always fine at the doctors, and I didn’t eat terribly. Balance is key they say!
Weight naturally fluctuates over the years so that wasn’t alarming. I didn’t grow up to be the athletic type, so I figured that it was not in the cards for me. I admit, there were times back then that I really wanted to take working out seriously. I played recreational tennis in high school to prove to myself that I had what it takes to be a fit girl.
When I left high school and started college, I figured that walking to and from my classes on campus was sufficient enough to count towards my daily exercise. I didn’t push myself to explore any other type of activities that would keep me fit because, let’s face it, I had to study + work all the time. Duh.
Working out was not “my thing” at the time. In my spare time, I would much rather be catching up on Netflix or simply relaxing. Getting a sweaty workout in that I didn’t even like was not part of my agenda.
I hated working out!
These, my dear, are the words of a girl that needed to experience some personal growth.
You may not have the same story as I do, but this mindset that you are “just not cut out” to have a workout regimen is complete nonsense and, quite frankly, just an excuse.
To make this more impactful, let’s pretend that working out is your significant other. This person is everything you want in a partner. I mean literally everything on your dream list is checked off. You have the perfect relationship in many peoples’ eyes, but there have been some underlying issues.
Working Out: “I feel like we are having the same talk about what I need from you almost daily. This relationship is at risk because you haven’t been putting in the work that the relationship needs for it to stay alive. Relationships are a two way street and I’ve been here working hard to make you happy, but I just don’t feel like anything is ever reciprocated.”
You: “You’re right. You’ve been wonderful to me. You are not perfect by any means, but I can’t deny that you are putting in more than enough effort into this relationship to make it work.”
Working Out: “Thank you for acknowledging this. You’ve been allowing yourself to fall to the wayside and it hurts me to see this because I want you to be the best version of yourself. I just want to love you and have a good relationship with you. I’m not a priority in your life. You don’t make time for me at all. I have to beg you to even think about spending time with me. It’s unfair, because I always find a way to make time for you when you need it.”
You: “I feel terrible. I really am so busy all the time. I go to school, then work, then I get tired and just need to have my alone time. I do want to be in a relationship with you, but the truth is, this relationship is hard for me to maintain. I feel like if I don’t put you first you freak out. I mean, you do make my life better, and there are so many benefits to being with you, but why can’t things just stay the way they are?
Working Out: “Because we both made a commitment. Don’t you get it?! Relationships take work! You don’t get to keep me in your closet and pull me out whenever you feel like it. There plenty of people out there who know what I’m worth and will make me feel appreciated.”
You: “Why do relationships have to be so hard? I’m committed to you, I feel like I’ve never had to work so hard in my life for someone. The amount of energy, sweat, and tears I have to put into this relationship just to make it work is uncomfortable at times. Why can’t we just get by seeing each other once a month? Things would be easier that way. I absolutely love the good times, but it’s not easy for me all the time. ”
Working Out: “You need to grow up. You are missing the whole point of what it means to have a relationship with someone.”
I’m just giving you something to think about because I love you and I’ve been there. Sometimes it’s helpful to see what you’re doing from another perspective in order to change your way of thinking.
If you gave your relationship the same excuses as you did working out what would happen?
You’re being immature. It’s time to grow up.
Dramatic much? Hardly.
You’ve become okay with not working on your relationship with working out because it’s not in your face with an ultimatum, picking fights or sending you massive amounts of text messages with “Hey, remember me?”
When you make a commitment to work on your fitness, you must also change your mindset about how your relationship is going to work. When working out becomes your lifestyle, and you are committed, such as in a serious relationship, you do whatever you need to do to make that relationship work.
Again, I wouldn’t have to write this letter if I didn’t see a problem. You hate working out because you need to mature in this area. Working towards good health is definitely not going to kill you and gives you guaranteed benefits. I see ladies basically idolizing their relationships and putting their partner first at all costs.
If you make excuses for working out, but don’t make the same excuses for Johnny who you readily see at 10pm on a Friday night – Houston, we’ve got a problem.
Relationships take work! Which is why when single ladies tell me I’m so “lucky” to have someone by my side I also say you have no idea how much work I had to put into this man and this relationship. When you see a lady with an amazing body you know she put tons of work into herself, it didn’t just magically happen!
Now that we’ve jumped over that hurdle I want to give you two tips for getting on track, even if you are starting from square zero. Yes, even if you absolutely hate working out.
1. You are not always going to feel like it.
I still have many days when I don’t “feel” like working out. What would happen if my feelings ruled my life? A complete mess! I may not feel like working some days, but I have to pay the bills.
These are the top excuses I’ve heard as to why working out does not happen:
I’m sorry to break it to you, but not working out because of a XYZ reason above is an excuse! It is a signal that you still have some work to do within yourself and you need to get cookin’. I want you to know that you have the power to work on the many reasons as to why you don’t work out.
These are struggles that we all deal with during different seasons of our lives. Working out is not going to feel good all the time because you are either burning away body fat or tearing down your muscles – not a fun process for your body. You are going to feel resistance and maybe even pain, but pushing through these obstacles will pay off months and years down the road. Trust the process + things will get easier!
2. Find your way
Good news: there are so many ways to work out! You don’t have to be crazy about the gym, or spend hours working out, but you do owe it to yourself to find a way to consistently put your body first.
Lifting or running may not be your way right now or ever. That’s okay! Fitness is not a one size fits all ordeal, so go find something that speaks to you and then make a commitment! If you can start with just 20 min of any activity daily you are well on your way my friend. 🙂
If you know me, you know that I’m not a cardio bunny. To overcome this I’ve taken kickboxing classes and found that this has become my favorite form of cardio! Since I’ve been solely focusing on strength training + bulking, I now vow to get back into doing cardio regularly. A huge goal for my upcoming year will be focusing on burning more fat and getting lean. This is going to be a heck of a journey for me since this has never been my focus before.
There is so much beauty in tackling your personal roadblocks and challenges. Like in a relationship, if you don’t go through hard times, you will never truly appreciate the good times.
The ability to work out while you physically can is a blessing that many take for granted. Your relationship with fitness doesn’t need to be non-existent next year. Work it out the best way you can.